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January 25
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You said you would come,
so why aren't you here?
You walked out of my life,
you disappeared.

I have so much to tell you
since I saw you last.
Don't you want to hear
all about my new class?

How I'm making new friends,
how I'm learning new things?
How everyone jumps up
when the dismissal bell rings?

I'm waiting here still,
staring out the window
of the room where we once sat
and spent the day watching videos.

My Sesame Street doll
sits at my side.
It's the one you gave me,
once upon a time.

My old blue blanket
sits around my shoulders
as I remember us playing,
until we got older.

The sun has long set
upon the great times
of sledding and monsters
and small metal slides.

The slam of a car door
breaks me out of my daydream.
I spring up towards the window,
and I'm met with a gleam.

A smile graces my face
as I jump up off the floor.
I run to the entrance
as you walk toward the door.

"Greetings and salutations
to you, good sir!"
"Calm down," you smile,
and things are as they were.
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:iconninjakookies:
~ninjakookies Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ok, critique time. This is my first one though, so sorry if it's bad in some way...

Honestly, this is a very poem and had a good rhyme scheme. The only thing I have a problem with is that some of the stanzas are much wordier than others and sometimes, you use slant rhymes that dont go together very well, but that's just me.

Over all, this a a very good poem and I enjoyed reading it. :)
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:iconsourair:
~SourAir Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! ^^ I agree with the problem with the stanzas. That's one of the things that bothers me a lot about this poem, haha. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it though! ^^
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:iconninjakookies:
~ninjakookies Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome!
Yeah... :(
No problem! I loved it!
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:iconmockingjay1256:
~MockingJay1256 Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I am at loss for words... You really have a talent and it shows plain as day right here. Absolutely amazing. Something I won't be forgetting for a long time. :)

Thank you twitter for featuring this wonderful piece of literature!
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:iconsourair:
~SourAir Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thank you so much!! That really means a lot to me! :heart: I'm glad that it could make an impact on you!

Wait, Twitter? XD
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:iconmockingjay1256:
~MockingJay1256 Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! :D

and no joke. dA tweeted it under literature a while back. :p
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:iconsourair:
~SourAir Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really?? I had no idea! XD Thanks for telling me about it!
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:iconmockingjay1256:
~MockingJay1256 Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ha! you're welcome. :)
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:iconzahilarabennett:
!ZahilaraBennett Jan 26, 2013  Student Writer
Okay. I really don't know what to say. This is sooo good. Your talent really lies in turning a story into a poem, and then just pumping it full of emotion. Really nice.
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:iconsourair:
~SourAir Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thank you so much! :iconhappytearsplz: :heart:
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